


A Light in the Dark

by queerioes



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety, BASICALLY ITS SUPER SWEET BUT ALSO REALLY EMOTIONAL, Child Neglect, Explicit Sexual Content, Feels, Implied Sexual Content, KEITH'S REFLECTION, Kissing, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Past Child Abuse, Relationship(s), Sleepy Cuddles, Social Anxiety, drug mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 09:11:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8243992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerioes/pseuds/queerioes
Summary: After spending so much time in darkness, Keith thought Shiro was the most beautiful light he’d ever seen. [Keith really is a happy person inside.]





	

Keith remembers the first ones he was left with, and how he had to sleep on the cold, hard floor of the basement. They didn’t have room for him.  _ They never had room for him. _ Keith’s small frame shivered under the thin blanket they provided, moth worn and damp. The open room was darker than dark, and Keith’s over imaginative mind would hear things bump in the night. That’s when he started pulling the covers over his head. Sleep would come once he had exhausted himself enough, otherwise anxiety would come bubbling up. He had learned to keep himself awake long enough, whether it took crying or filling his head with far off places that weren’t  _ there _ , until he’d lose consciousness. It’s how he survived early on, until he was moved again. 

This time he was seven years old. This house was bigger and in a neighborhood with other kids that weren’t just fostered. The kids in the house seemed nice at first around the adults, but Keith found out quickly that he wouldn’t be included. If they weren’t complaining about how he looked, then it was he didn’t talk enough, he didn’t smile enough, or he didn’t like interesting enough things. They’d push, shove, or run away from him, making a point to point out he wasn’t welcome to play with them. Keith spent his time alone. It wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t the worst either. He read books, watched the stars at night, and imagined himself in far away places. 

The foam pad he slept on was on the floor of a small bedroom, in the corner away from the other kids’ beds. Keith thought they slept so easily, drifting off to dream almost immediately after their heads hit the pillows. Keith watched the ceiling, drawing out constellations he was learning from a book he had read. It wasn’t as cold as a basement floor from before, and that was something he could appreciate. There were bumps in the road, like the other kids taking his books or hiding his shoes. It wasn’t his missing things that upset him the most, but being told what a bad child he was for  _ losing _ those precious items. Keith learned a deep sense of loyalty towards the things that made him happy, so much so that he’d do everything he could to protect them. When he was settled in his new school, the teacher complained to his parents that he spaced out in most subjects. She said that it was a sign of trouble. Was his head always in the clouds? Wasn’t that normal? That year Keith only did well in his science subjects. 

Meals were increasingly loud and rambunctious, just until the adults would get fed up enough that they abandoned the room altogether or forced a heavy silence on all of them. It was a struggle to get enough to eat, but Keith hadn’t really liked many foods recently. That’s when he started figuring out there were foods he didn’t like very much, for example peanut butter. He wasn’t even sure what there was to hate about it, but sure enough, he avoided it if possible. When he was told they got to celebrate birthdays in this house, Keith couldn’t grasp what that meant exactly. It meant  _ cake _ , which was more than he had experienced before. When they told him it was his and another kid’s birthdays that week, they made a peanut butter cake. Keith felt the suffocating burn of disappointment.  _ When had that started?  _ Everyone raved about how  _ amazing _ it was, but Keith didn’t have any. Their parents looked angry with him, and once they found out _ why  _ he wasn’t eating  _ his _ cake, it got worse. They sent him away to another room and talked about his  _ bad behavior _ for everyone to hear. Keith stopped telling people when he didn’t like something. 

Keith was in that home longer than expected, until twelve years old, watching the other kids grow over the next several years. They never changed much from when he first arrived, still excluding and teasing him. Even when Keith’s grades were consistently perfect, he was never praised, but asked “what could he do to make himself better?” Keith didn’t have an answer, but he talked about being a hero. What he really meant was that he’d become the hero he had always wanted, someone to take him away or to make him smile when he felt he couldn’t.  _ Someone he could be proud of. _ Keith learned that his parents were angry if he didn’t  _ look _ happy or at least pleasantly obedient. Their insecurity showed, afraid an unhappy child made them look bad, and he got an earful the first time he spoke up about not having to do as they said. Keith was labeled as liar, disrespectful, and problematic, before he was moved again.

Times changed fast and Keith was ripped up from that home, passed to another. A blossoming teenager, he found differences in himself, his body, and his thoughts. He felt more angry or just malcontent with most things on the surface. He also began to notice feeling attraction towards people, but not the ones he had expected. Keith experienced panic attacks over finding the boys in his school physically appealing. Fearing that he would become a burden or stand out further from his peers, Keith buried that part of himself deep down. For the sake of self preservation, he kept it a secret, but some part of him thought of it as his own personal treasure. It may have not been acceptable to some people, but to him it was an integral part of who he was becoming as a person. That would become a practice that sustained him, protecting his real self from the world, so they could never take it away from him. Keith kept to the things he could control. Class and the feeling of succeeding were practically tangible things that didn’t bring him down. The night sky lifted his spirits, though dreaming of life among the stars and moon didn’t achieve anything for his future, it did make him feel better. 

These new parents were much more direct in their displeasure of fostering, categorizing all foster kids as future criminals. If Keith made a mistake or stepped out of line at all, he hesitated to return to their house for fear of physical punishment. That’s when Keith started sleeping outside or running away for long periods of time. It caused more trouble than good, but it gave him peace of mind. He could think when he wasn’t being yelled at or demeaned in front of others. He learned eventually how to tune that noise out, though he preferred when things were quiet, when he was alone. Something he had once hated when he was younger, and still didn’t like technically, but comparatively his then alternative option was far more difficult to swallow. His isolation from his peers and the absence of a family were both a curse and a blessing. As Keith aged, he learned how to navigate those situations, whether it be bothersome peers who wanted in his business or parents who accused him of doing drugs on a regular basis. He laughed bitterly at the thought.  _ If he did drugs or anything seriously punishable, then he would never have a future away from all of this.  _

Keith kept to himself, only working with others to further the common goal or group performance if required of him. He had stopped running away or doing anything that would label him as trouble. There was an end goal: _ the Galaxy Garrison _ . To get there, he would do as he was told and give himself the needed breaks. It didn’t mean that he was freed from the manipulation and abuse pushed on him by his fosters, but he thought he could handle it.  _ It wasn’t forever _ . There were hard days though, days when Keith just wanted to fade away. If they couldn’t see him, they wouldn’t hurt him, right? Those parents weren’t very different from the others he had before.

Time passed and Keith approached a hill, on top that was bathed in sunlight. He couldn't see what was there per se, but he knew it was better, better than what was behind him. His first step was into the Galaxy Garrison. Keith found out he was an excellent performing student and he was capable of receiving praise, though it took him time to learn how to feel proud of it. He attracted others to him, it took some time, but he learned how others could make him feel happiness. One person broke his shell and dusted off the remnants-  _ Takashi “Shiro” Shirogane. _

Keith was slow to warm up to this senior cadet, but his unfaltering smile and overflowing concern for others certainly made the guy seem genuine. He had taken a particular interest in Keith, going out of his way to talk to him or help him with his training. Keith had run into some trouble at the Garrison, difficulty responding to criticism. Shiro had not only talked it out with him, but had first wanted to hear Keith’s thoughts on it and defended him. They grew closer over time and it was the first time Keith let his guard down around someone. Keith let other parts of himself reemerge, ones he had kept locked away.  _ Keith developed deeper feelings towards Shiro. _

Was it natural that Shiro’s touch lingered on his skin or that his breath tickle Keith’s lips when they talked with their faces close together. Keith had been hiding himself from people for so long that he had grown nervous to be his natural self. He couldn’t remember who that was exactly, or had he really developed himself yet? Shiro drew Keith’s personality out bit by bit, accepting every part of him, loving all of him. Shiro was becoming the hero Keith had always wanted,  _ needed _ . He complimented who Keith was and showed him how to embrace himself and his life.  _ They fell in love.  _

In the early mornings, Keith still slept with the covers pulled above his head, until a certain someone would excavate him from the blankets, kissing at his ears, cheeks, lips. Shiro wrapped around Keith, reminding him daily how much he loved him. With Shiro, Keith felt warm and at peace. He recalled when they both admitted their feelings, when Keith had broken down and chipped away at his outer surface. The part of him that he had kept hidden, that he had treasured and kept safe, rose to the surface. Shiro embraced him, and Keith cried. It wasn’t because he was no longer alone and not because someone  _ finally _ loved him. It was because in the deep darkness where he had hidden his treasure, he was finally sharing himself with someone, and Shiro had brought the light in the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> I have written these characters to be of consenting/legal age by the standards in my country (18yo+). Also, this is a work of _FICTION_ , and so _please_ be safe in sex/sexual activity by using appropriate protection. 
> 
> This is written as ONE life perspective. It's a creative approach for a Keith backstory and has some heavy themes. 
> 
> You can find my [tumblr (boysblush)](http://boysblush.tumblr.com/) & [twitter (@boysblush)](https://twitter.com/boysblush) via those links.


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